Ckillips
12-23-2008, 02:00 PM
I don't know where to begin, I got married to a woman who who knew that I had children I loved, and wanted to be in their life. I did not know how to be a father outside of the home so I struggled to become that. When we first got together I let her know how important it was to me. In my ignorance before I truly understood I told her that I loved my children more than her because they would never leave me. She has held that over my head ever since. We had argued daily for at least 4 years. We finally got tired of the division and seperated, after a year we got back together, and we both are trying to live a christian life, but She resents the fact that I had children before I met her. I struggle with being a father not having an example so I try to do the best I know how. So there is alot of inconsistency as I learn, but I continue to try. When my children are not around we do OK, but I feel like to be a good father I need to get them at least every other day. This causes a rift because she resents them I believe and therefore I get the attitude. We don't see anything the same and I already feel bad cause I feel like I am neglecting my kids and she makes it no easier. She wants children, but has trouble having them. She's very private and would kill me if she knew I were telling this, but I need help and encouragement because I am felling very worthles, and defeated. Nevertheless I'm having a hard time. I want to leave because I think she makes everything more difficult with the attitude she brings to the table, or is it that I expect too much from her? Once I get things more together in my thought process I will be able to convey this better, but if you can make any sence of this please offer some Godly advice. Thank- You.