attacks

[a.baker]

When someone is attacking you with false accusations what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to strive for justice by speaking the truth about the accusation being false? Or are we supposed to let God take care of it? When do we know to hand it over to God and to give up; that no matter what you say or do these accusations are going to target you?

[CoreIssue]

Try to deal directly with them, if possible. Then let them fix it with others.

If that fails just spell out the facts to others impacted and then try to let it go.

Nothing in the Bible says you have to put up with lies about you.

[Chrystalwuzhere]

Amen, Core.

Amanda, does the person spreading lies know they are false, or do they really believe what they're saying? If they really believe they are true, it could be a matter of just correcting the situation with the right information (or maybe not, depending on the person you're talking to). If the person knows they are false, and are spreading bold-faced lies, then no amount of reasoning with them will change their mind. They're doing it willingly. Irrational people can't be reasoned with.

I would try to deal directly with them... but if it doesn't work, then it's time to let it go. That's the hardest part.

Praying you find strength and wisdom through all these trials. :pray: :hug:

[a.baker]

Thank you so much to the both of you for your advice! :hug:
There are two different things going on but the one that bothers me the most is being awfully irrational. Saying I said things I never said and things I don't do. I have others in the situation that have confronted me and told me they don't understand why this person is acting this way or saying these things. They say they don't want to talk bad behind their back which is very understandable but they feel the person may never change who knows. We both agree the person will not reason. They know the things the person said are lies and they told me how they see me and that made me feel so much better. They also told me they can talk to me like no one else.

See this person (the one spreading the lies and accusations) told me I wasn't allowed to talk to certain people. Talks bad about me to everyone, has so much anger and loves to say "they are the law of the land" and blah blah. They attacked my husband too which is also not o.k. Thats kinda a part of what started it. The more I told them how I felt the more they turned it around to attack me.

No reasoning with someone who won't listen and wants to be calloused,have control, angry, authoritive, try to use my relationship with God as an attack, guilt trips that have no justice, lies... I could go on.

I also told them to forget it. I told them my hands are up in the air and I am giving it to God (This is a personal person who should know me well). I laid out the truth and for some reason as soon as I was done giving a long response about how I feel about God and about how my whole life revolves around Him, that seemed to be a key that almost immediately lifted a lot of weight off my shoulders. The relief I have and you among others have been praying about. I still think about it too much but its not like it was at all.

[Chrystalwuzhere]

I'm so glad some of the stress is letting up. If it's a family member who is doing this, well, I understand why you're hurting. Family can hurt you like no one else can. I come from a strange family ... not my immediate family, my dad's family... and some of them live to gossip and stir up trouble. So, we decided years ago to just keep to ourselves and let them do their thing. Do you think it has helped? Nope. Trouble still gets started. I've been so frustrated and thought, "how on earth can we get into trouble when we never go around them?" I just realized that those people thrive on gossip and misery, and if they're going to do that, it has nothing to do with me. Even if it's me their talking about, it has nothing to do with me. It's just a reflection of their own lack of character. So, let them say what they like. At the end of the day, I still have my relationship with God, and that is the most important thing in my life.

I hope things continue to get better for you. Praying for you.

[InTheWind]

Right on sis :nod: some people are just like a leech ya can`t get rid of them.
People tell me to just forget about others that it`s their selfishness and attitude problem. But i say nope you watch they`ll drag us into their problems some how. It`s like they need ya to make their misery complete. :(

[Jessie]

ITW is right, somehow we dont have to be around to get drawn into it.

[a.baker]

I agree to that!

[Eutychus]

Try to set the facts straight and maintain your dignity, often your attitude will speak
louder than the facts. Kind composure often silences attackers, and if not -
sometimes you just consider the source and disreguard for your own peace.
Don't beat yourself up with it.

[patgreen]

My husband had people at work who were over him that did not like him. We believe it had to do with his being a christian. He was due a promotion to supervisor when his boss retired, His boss told him that his job would go to him and everyone else expected it also. A week before the retirement, this person took my husband to lunch and told him that he would not be getting the job that he expected. He said it was because he did not have a degree. (Mind you, my husband worked there for ten years and when his boss was away, and sometime for a month at a time, he was required to do his boss' job)He was very qualified yet he didn't get the job due to one spiteful man who does the hiring. Now, my husband could have gone to Human Resources and put up a stink, he could have bad mouthed this man and the unjustice to everyone in the office, he could have quit in anger, etc. But, he prayed and asked God to work it out for him. He felt that God was able to give him that promotion if it was what he wanted and no man could have stood in his way. He resolved that it must not have been God's will. He humbly continued to work and say nothing. He earned the respect of all his coworkers who saw the injustice that was done to him. Within 6 months time, The Bank where he works made many changes in the positioning of their employees. My husband became Head supervisor over the main branch, he got a tremendous pay increase, and he got a company vehicle with many extra benefits. As for the 2 men who were involved in his not getting the promotion, One was fired for not doing his job, and the other was sent to another branch and my husband doesn't have to deal with him anymore. Sometimes the right thing to do is to allow God to do his work and fight your battles for you, yet sometimes we should say something directly to those offending you. Each situation needs prayer. Ask God to help you to decide what to do in every situation.

[CoreIssue]

Yep. Trusting God and having patience are hard to do but often the correct thing to do.