selfishness?

[roman8]

How do we get rid of it? Sefishness that is, and become like the Lord.
I have come to realize that everything I do and think is motivated by sefishness. Its said that we must die to self , that we are to carry our cross and be crucifed with Christ. I will do something that I think is for the right reasons but if I really take a look at it there was sefishness there. any suggestions , help please

Thanks

[a.baker]

Some examples might help in this, I am not sure. Not everything we do for ourselves is selfish. There are some things we do for ourselves and it is good. I think the Lord just wants us to put others before ourselves and have empathy for others; when it is justified. He also says if we have money or things to spare and a brother is down to give him what he needs. Every case is so different.

Some of the poorest people can give the most when it comes to giving.

Things we do for other people because of Him; are we doing it because of Him or because of ourselves; is another thing to think about.

Like many of us have talked before, it is not good to have others walk all over you or to use you. This is a different subject than selfishness but they can intertwine if you don't do things for yourself that are NEEDED. For example my husband and daughter get haircuts and have clothes. Well I need those too and rarely get them when I NEED them not want them. So I put my foot down and I'll buy something I need for myself here and there and not feel guilty. Come to find out, no one but myself made me feel guilty for thinking about myself. Only I looked at it wrong. So even though it had to do with myself, I was just taking care of myself and not being selfish.

But evaluating the heart of it does answer some questions if your wondering who you are actually doing the thing for. It also depends on what the thing is.

Hope that helped some :hug:

[a.baker]

Also if it is a selfish situation sitting back and evaluating that person and their situation will make ones heart pour out to them and want to help without thinking twice. The biggest thing we can do to help is to always make sure God gets invited; for example, sharing your story with how you met Him and how He makes you complete and full of life...... Just some more thoughts. Maybe even asking them if you can pray for them. Or giving a bible to go along with it. Also giving the whole thing to God and having faith He will deliver will leave it all to Him and you won't have to worry about helping out someone for selfish wants. And if its His Will it will be done.

Selfishness can go in so many directions.

[a.baker]

Evaluating people or situations with your heart and than always testing it to scripture before you act is a good route to go. Purity of a heart works best. Clean conscience too.

Sorry so many replies from myself I keep thinking of more to add. Again big subject here.

[InTheWind]

Ditto. :nod: :pray:

[roman8]

thats just it , is anything we do for ourselves justified , can we ever truly say we deserve it .
I know what you are saying a.baker about asking yourself , am I doing this because of him or because of me. Im just not sure , perhaps I am over thinking this . But I have really been faced with my own selfishness lately and have been forced to take a look at myself , its not pretty.

My biggest problem is I am not sure how to stop being that way, before I know it Im doing it again:( then its already done or said .

Maybe its just an on going battle, I really feel as though I am starting from scratch.

I have had people say you have to let the spirit of the Lord lead you , and then you know , not sure how to do that

either:scratch:



Does anyone ever get past this? Still need answers if there is one.

sorry I replied before seeing the others.

[roman8]

Evaluating people or situations with your heart and than always testing it to scripture before you act is a good route to go. Purity of a heart works best. Clean conscience too.

Sorry so many replies from myself I keep thinking of more to add. Again big subject here.



Thanks , a.baker good answer for me :hug:

[InTheWind]

We all struggle with sin of all different things, we`re filth in Gods eyes and only Christs blood makes us presentable to God. The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, listen and try and change. None of us can be even close to living a perfect life, don`t be to hard on yourself and it will work out.
God loves you. :nod:

[InTheWind]

Isaiah 43:2
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.



Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us





1 John 3:21
21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God



Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.



Psalm 31:7
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

[Jessie]

LOL it sure is a big subject!

one thing too, we never can get rid of "self"

Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves.

what kindof things of selfishness are you maybe talking about?

[roman8]

.



Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us




1 John 3:21
21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God



.

Yes, but how are we conquerors? Perhaps its just the fact that its brought to mind and then he can start to work on us?

ITW, Im not sure what this scripture is saying. What if our own hearts do condem us?

[InTheWind]

Could it be that our hearts can`t condemn us in front of God if we strive for the light which is good. Someone else may have a better explanation.

[roman8]

LOL it sure is a big subject!

one thing too, we never can get rid of "self"

Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves.

what kindof things of selfishness are you maybe talking about?

Yes Jesus tell us to love others as we love ourselves , but I didnt think I loved myself , its obvious now that I do or wouldnt always be trying to get my own way , or be self pitting or saying I have been wronged. If I didnt love myself I wouldnt really care.

I think it all comes down to that I cant stand my own behavior , I want to be different , but its hard to give up on self , I want what I want.

In the past few weeks , you all know I did something, and now I even find myself trying to blame others for pushing me towards it . It was my choice , no one else to blame. More sefishness, I just want to be different than what I am . Its like I can be completely blinded by what I am doing until its over, never thinking about how it will affect others only how it would please me , exactly the opposite of what the Lord tells us to do.

Before all this happened I walk around pretty selfrightous , in fact it was just a month or so before that I condemed someone else for doing the very thing I did.

anyway , what kind of selfishness ? all of it, I would like to be rid of it all.
I would settle for half or a quarter of it gone.

[InTheWind]

Maybe God is letting you wallow in your sorrow for a while as a lesson, ya can`t move forward until ya look ahead instead of behind. :hug:
See yourself as a child of God that made some mistakes, repent and move on and thank God for all things good and bad. :nod:

[kay-gee]

roman8. You are not alone in this. It is the human condition, and I believe that we all suffer from it, at some level. Christ was the only truly self-less person that ever walked on this earth. Though I would not consider myself a selfish person, per se, I have been accused of being a self absorbed person. It is no better but different. I can go days sometimes absorbed in my own thoughts, almost forgetting that I share a space with someone else. It manifests itself in little ways, like pouring coffee for myself and not for You know who! Kinda like I am the only one in exsistence in the moment. I am verbally reminded immediately and it's like "Oh yeah...sorry" I try to excuse and justify it by saying all the years and hours spent alone as a driver, with nothing but me and my thoughts, trained me to be this way. Always thinking about number one. This is probably not much comfort or help to you but I wanted to at least weigh in tthe issue, becouse I believe it is of vital importance. In both the Christian walk and our general life overall.

all the best...

[a.baker]

Yes repent and move on. I mean repentance is a way to show God through our actions if we are truly sorry or not. So if you repent and before you know it are in another hole; just climb back out of it and learn from it , repent again and move on. No one is perfect by any means. We are all filthy in some way. No this doesn't make anything o.k. but it lets us rejoice in Gods grace and what Jesus did for us.

What you said about, before you know it you have already committed another selfish act; the scripture that comes to mind with that is quick to listen and slow to speak. This can be done with our actions too not just our words and the same with our thinking. Evaluate the situation and your heart before you act. Sometimes this stuff seriously takes practice. Sometimes its good to sit in the back and watch others before you step forward. Never say you can't. Focus on the steps of how you can and by all means ask God to give you the strength to do so.

You know how many times I tried to quit all the substances that were in control of my life? More than a dozen each (5 years; a lot for being so young) before I tried to find God and it took a year to finally quit once I found God. I couldn't quit one of them until a year after that when I finally opened my bible and read for the first time and gotten to know God.

Searching for scripture is a huge one to focus on when we struggle with anything. Sometimes the only way to nip it in the bud is to remind yourself who God is and how powerful He is and let that fear set in a little. Just like a child who is being rebellious might think twice if they stop to think of dad who might catch them in their act. The best way I can relate it to. This fear keeps us safe and can sometimes be the only way we can fight this war with self. For example if one of those substances ever cross my mind for one reason or another I protect myself from myself by immediately reminding myself of the fear. Of course imagining if I did anything like that how the One who loves me the most and truly LOVES me, would be sitting there crying over me because of my selfish act. That makes me stop thinking about my thoughts right there and turn towards Him usually in prayer and scripture. Thats how I protect myself from myself is by focusing on Him and who He is. I couldn't do it any other way.

And you talked about blaming others for your actions. Well if you noticed right off the bat thats wrong than your already there. Ignoring these thoughts that are lies from Satan himself can happen and it will get easier the more you practice not listening to them. You know its wrong and try to not indulge in the thoughts of blame and it will get easier. It is a fight and war; it is.

These things will make you stronger if you focus on God and have faith He will give you what you need to get through it all. This I believe is how we are conquerers, is by ignoring all and focusing on God only and putting one foot in front of the other; giving Him the trust to hold you up as you try to step into the next situation or day and by admitting how weak we all are and how much we need Him. We cannot do any of this alone; we need Him to conquer, even over ourselves. Our hearts and thoughts can be so deceptive! Thats why always test it to scripture.

Also remind you God lets His children see what He sees; to protect us from the world and ourselves.

We also never know how God is going to use our faults and mistakes down the road to His benefit.

Prayers going out for you.

[a.baker]

Also where you said about judging someone for being self righteous and you said thats also what your doing; reminds me of that scripture of the speck in the eye. Don't point out the spec in your neighbors eye, while you walk around with a stake in your own eye. Something like that, anyways. The measure we use to judge others will also be used on us.

[kay-gee]

There is an old adage that says "pride goes before a fall" ...how true it is!

all the best...

[a.baker]

I do believe I remember reading that some where in scripture too...

[John Beckett]

`

Roman, please read this carefully and even meditate on it,
if that helps.

Dear Sis, you are actually being selfish when you
focus upon this very issue you have been struggling
with as of late. Reason being that we are not here
in this world for what it sometimes seems. And
believe it or not, I don't mean to imply that
your selfishness in this case is a bad thing,
because it is not. Please read on ...

We are here for His Glory, for whatever purpose
He has in store for eternity.

One of the main reasons i believe in Him so much
is because of how much sense it all makes.

Think about it, dear. God Almighty is Capable of
soooooo much!!! And yet, how long did He Exist
without true love being shown to Him, and also
without His being able to Show true love to
others who could actually appreciate it??

He Made so much, He Made Angels, but He Made
them for particular purposes. Amen?

But where was the love?

Anyway, to get to the here and now, you have to
ask yourself how much your child would get away
with, Sis. Would you disown him/her because
of little mishaps or even grand larceny??

No, most certainly you would not.

We are His Children, and He Understands that
we will make mistakes and even stray now and
again. He Made us, dear! He Knows and
even Expects us to make mistakes!

Look, I haven't been in this Site too often
as of late, so I am not privy to exactly
what it is you did. But so what? lol

Who am I?

All that matters is that God Knows, and you
are sorry you did it. That's what being a
child of the King is all about. Knowing
we did wrong, but praising our Lord
for His Perpetual Forgiveness!

I love you dearly, girl. You know that. So
imagine how much more our Holy Lord Loves you!!

Remember that saying: To forgive is Divine!

Who is more Divine than our own Divine God??

Amen? :nod: :nod:

If what you did was so bad, you would be
"Disciplined" for it, my dear Sister in Jesus!

i know, because i have been "Shown" the errors
of my ways in the past. And somehow, i just
knew it was of Him, because when you think
about it, why would He Punish you and not
Make Sure that you knew it was from Him?

So then, believe it or not, if you do not feel
as though you have been "Disciplined" for
whatever it is you did, then it is most
likely not as bad as you think.

Especially if you have recognized your mistake
and asked Him to please Forgive you.

lol Nothing wrong with selfishness, dear.

If not for selfishness, we would not care
one way or the other where we wind up
after death. However, we are an animal
of survival. Amen? And we also have
the Holy Spirit's Wisdom within our
hearts, so we realize that the
Kingdom of God is the way
to go.

Amen! :nod:



`

[kay-gee]

Well said John Beckett!

all the best...