what to do with a lier

[Jessie]

boy this is really bothering me.

yesterday I had to keep a promise to call my grandmother,
when I had to get off the phone the previous day to call the retirement home I told her I'd call her yesterday. so I did.

my uncle was there, and he just flat out lied.
said he was there at least once a day and sometimes twice a day to see her. it was a lie. my granmother is a incessant talker, and she talked about every little thing including who came to see her ect.

it just makes me sick, why lie like that.
it makes him look all the worse in leaving her alone like that in her condition. (see my mother and him like to "look" the part of responsiblity)
I think thats some of my problem with them with all this.
hes a rapist, pediphile, has conned the baptist church into hes a good christian. (dont know if hes still consiling people there) I dont think so, but still..... all show no go.

I need some advice....
I can see why I was so confused as a kid, and how it colored my attitudes towards others in the fact I did'nt trust anyone!

I think he might be worried cause of the past I'd sue them.
I dont do that.
maybe I should have called him on his lie?
:faint:

I'm discusted.

[a.baker]

Depends on the situation if you should call him out really. I would say yes say something. But you could also ignore it because you know the truth, you see him for who he is and he is lying to no one but himself. Usually when I find a compulsive liar I make it obvious when they are talking to me with my body language that I am ignoring them and don't give their lies much face value. I might sometimes just blow them off. I am sure thats not the right way to do it but yeah what do you do with a compulsive liar. Is it worth your breath and energy to call them out about every little thing or to just save yourself the hassle and brush them off while they try to talk to you? My response and again might not be right, would be, to just not talk or associate with them. I would say when you see your grandma focus on her and ignore the others and let them indulge in their lies by themselves because their going to do it any way. I don't know just my experience. Some people lie so much they start to believe their lies as being some what factual.

[Jessie]

thank you I believe you are right!

[InTheWind]

Yes I believe a.baker is right, I battle with the same issues with people and wanting to confront them just makes it hard on me not them. People like that don`t care how you feel anyway so why give them the satisfaction of your time. I`m telling myself this over and over. :D

[a.baker]

Yes they do not care what anyone else has to say unless it is a show of interest in their lies and only what they have to say. Notice how these people never give a time of day or interest to see what you have to say or going on? Kinda hurts when you care for them. Once someone shows them interest their little lies grow bigger and bigger. They want people to just believe their lies and not question. Half the time when they are confronted they give another lie to cover up the last. So it can be a huge waste of time and energy trying to confront constant liars. At least we know the truth and know who to give a listening ear to and who not. Before any help can reach these people they must first admit the truth and well I don't know what to say about some of the people I know if that would ever happen or not. But I make sure to steer clear of them thats for sure.

[Jessie]

they were covering themselves. my mom said shed been there 4 times that week,
him every day. so I was like WHAT ON EARTH??? AND YOU CANT SEE SHE CANT BE ALONE?
just make them look all the worse.

I havent said anything. so I'm sterring clear of them.

they are doing what they've always done...
lie, and not do a good job but have others on the outside so fooled its not funny.l

ah well..

and yep ITW, it sure is hard on us to say something. just makes it harder.

although in this case I'd like to give them a what for, it would'nt do any good.
they cant hear.

[InTheWind]

Oh Lord forgive me but i could tell a few some pretty ripe woods, but it won`t do know good they just twist it around to look like i`m the one with the problem.:(
They always make up things to justify themselves to themselve for how they treat ya. :grr:

[Jessie]

exactly ITW, exactly, you nailed it.

I dont understand how they all stick together, but they do.
and I'm the troublemaker.
I'm really sorry you have this problem too.
I dont wish it on anyone!


sometimes I wonder when we say something is'nt it like casting our pearls before swine? or is that involved in this stuff?

[a.baker]

I would say it would be like pearls if you were trying to help them out in any way while they continued on acting out their foolish ways. You help someone out that has bad intentions and not willing to change or listen and your wound up to get stabbed in the back.

[InTheWind]

I asked my doctor how these people can act that way and he said their professionals.:eek:
I finally realized i`m not the problem, they are, my problem was i was letting their problems bother me.
Ya gotta let go, cut ties with those that are hurting ya, it`s a dayly battle i know but be strong and have faith God is watching ya know. :yowza:

[Jessie]

yep masters at their trade.

I'm really trying to cut those ties.

since my sis came down, I dont even call someone else does. to check up on my grandmother.

your doc was right and thats scary to me. its like being in a den of vipers.

I'm not the problem your right.

keep on praying for me, I'm getting stronger!

and thanks so much for the encouragement! that means a lot to me.
just to talk it out sure helps.

[a.baker]

:pray: :hug:

[kay-gee]

all Liars are headed for fire! Rev 21:8

all the best...

[a.baker]

Oh how true that is :D . Separation and leaving it to God is best. :nod:

[Jessie]

that is true.
and thats another thing that bothers me.

and I really have to let that go to, and realize God gave them free will.

so many just dont get it and continue on in their persistant lieing.

yep, let it go... let it go.. and just accept they decided its their choice to do so.