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View Full Version : PLEASE, somebody! Enlighten me here ...


John Beckett
11-09-2007, 05:25 PM
`

I have a friend who is a ""BELIEVER"" in
every single thing the Bible Says!

ALL OF IT!!

He recently married a Pentecostal Christian
woman, and she goes to Church, gives tithe
offering, and listens to almost nothing but
Christian songs.

However, she has a computer that she bought
before marrying my friend, and she has told
him that it is hers, and not his, because
she bought it prior to their marriage.

She has also said that she doesn't want him
or anyone else using her pc because it cost
her $600.oo, even though he gave her kids
his pc immediately after moving in that he paid
$150.oo for.

He has tried explaining to her that there is
no "I" in marriage under God/Jesus, but rather
there is "we", and there should be nothing
that is claimed by either of them as "mine".

In fact, even this woman's pastor told her
right in front of my friend that she needs to
change the "I" to "we" because she is married
now.

According to my friend, he says she is still
not budging. He says she is letting him use it
now, but he is NOT ALLOWED to download anything.

""NOT ALLOWED?????????"" :ick: :ick:

Is that how she should be thinking??

He is ready to divorce her because he believes
that the Bible does not mince words when It States
that man and wife are to submit to one another
IN ALL THINGS!!

Ephesians - Chapter 5:21-33 {NLT}

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Can anyone here dispute this??? And can you
offer me any advice for my friend, please??

tyvm! :swoon:


`

a.baker
11-09-2007, 06:36 PM
Tell your friend how divorce is so wrong in Gods eyes by any means except unfaithfulness. Tell him how that shouldn't even cross his mind. It does show to a certain extent his level of commitment and faith and patience not with just his wife but more importantly God.

Matthew 19:9 "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. "

Also if he talks of divorce while his wife talks of mine mine mine, how is he any better than her?

Malachi 2:15-16 Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and in spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a mans covering himself with violence as well as with his garment, " says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Your friend needs to bring up in conversation to his wife how and why does she view material things more important than their commitment of relationship? That is what it boils down to whether she wants to admit that or not. This is more of an issue than a $600 computer and it hurts. If the computer is that big of a deal than they need to get rid of it!! Than they can buy a nicer one together that they can share completely. There are many bumps in marriage and they can be overcome and in the long run make the relationship stronger.

a.baker
11-09-2007, 06:43 PM
One more thing. How can your friends wife hold anything back no matter what it is? Hey God doesn't want parts of us He wants all of us, 100%. This demonstrates the wife trying to dicker and deal with what God wants if you ask me. She needs to get over it really! Whats a computer to a relationship? I bet she is in denial with the extremity of what she is displaying here.

John Beckett
11-09-2007, 06:59 PM
`

Tell your friend how divorce is so wrong in Gods eyes,
by any means except unfaithfulness.

That's just it. In my friend's eyes, his wife is being
unfaithful to him by coveting her pc more than her
own husband! And that goes against the Grain of the
Bible on two fronts!


Tell him how that shouldn't even cross his mind. It does show
to a certain extent his level of commitment and faith and patience
not with just his wife but more importantly God.

Actually, his plans of divorcing her shows that he IS committed to
God, when you think about it. As I said, he believes in what the Bible
Says, and what his wife is doing in regards to this pc is killing him
inside!! Wifey needs to understand that there should NEVER be a
monetary value placed on her or him! Amen? And she is a rebellious
spirit. What's my friend to do??


Also if he talks of divorce while his wife
talks of mine mine mine, how is he any better than her?

Huh?? :scratch: She is the one saying mine! He has given her every
single thing he owns, and has done so with a smile on his face!
He and I are very close, so I know this. I have seen it.


Your friend needs to bring up in conversation to his wife
how and why does she view material things more important than
their commitment of relationship? That is what it boils down to
whether she wants to admit that or not.

Amen, Sis! It's as bad as an idiot man telling his wife not to
ever think about starting up his classic GTO. Like, is he gonna
have the dang thing BURIED with him??


This is more of an issue than a $600 computer and it hurts.

Yes, it hurts severely!! God Bless you for your replies, even if
I don't agree with them all. It is out of love and I truly appreciate it.

:hug:


`

John Beckett
11-09-2007, 07:01 PM
`

She needs to get over it really! Whats a computer to
a relationship? I bet she is in denial with the extremity of
what she is displaying here.

I am thinking that she is not as committed to her hubby
as she should be! I mean, they have not been married
that long. She should still be GA-GA over him!

No? :scratch:


`

CoreIssue
11-09-2007, 09:07 PM
You guys got a good discussion going, so I will only add Wow! here. What is going on with her?

a.baker
11-09-2007, 10:59 PM
Hmm I suppose the question arises when God says faithfulness on the topic of divorce. What exactly is He referring to? Is He referring to cheating with another person or is there more to it than that? But than theres faith on the other side too, which is not loosing hope and enduring hard times and still loving along with patience ect. But I must add, it is much easier to have faith in God and much harder to have faith in a person. So the best thing for your friend to do is to stop thinking of his feelings for a minute and think about how would God look at this. What would He say; but in order to do such an evaluation he has to seriously put his feelings aside. Not an easy one to do. Maybe your friend is so hurt because there is more than an issue of the computer selfishness going on when it comes to faith in his wife. Also how long have they been married? Are there children involved? Any past divorce on either side? Are they young?( Just some questions for me to better understand I guess; those questions aren't biblical by any means). Yup all out of love.

a.baker
11-09-2007, 11:07 PM
Back in my NIV bible I have a dictionary with some words and under faithful it just says:
trustworthy; loyal
Hmm I need to expand on that. Let me search my bible for a minute.

Jessie
11-10-2007, 03:11 AM
they are both wrong.


she is selfish and so is he.

she wants the pc for herself (not sharing)
and he wants the easy way out.

and neither is glorifiying God.

its not easy to make a marraige work, and one should pray for the other.
one does'nt glorify the Lord by running at troubles and hard times within it.

its not easy and yes, hurt is involved.

a.baker
11-10-2007, 09:34 AM
Yup I totally agree Jessie; he is not acting any better than she is and I am sure God is unpleased with both with this issue.