This is not easy to admit .....

[John Beckett]

`

the devil must have a hold on me that I simply
CANNOT SHAKE, because this phobia problem
of mine will not go away! I have been fighting
it, day after day, year after year, since 2003!

I am so sick of this fear!!! :sob:

Just tonight, I went for a walk under a cloudless
sky, and all I could see above me were blinking
stars, and I was so overcome with horror at one
point that I literally RAN across a wide-open field
just to get to the street where there were trees!

Earlier today, I was gonna go for a walk, but I
saw this tall radio tower and blue sky stretched
out far and wide beyond it. I had to return to the
car, shaking all the while.

Agoraphobia is a very scary mental illness which
causes a person to become very, very scared of
something happening, even if s/he doesn't know
what that something might be.

So, why did I head this post as This is not easy to
admit, you ask?? Because what is not easy for me
to admit is the fact that my Faith in the Lord is not
as strong as it should be!! And it kills me just to
think it, let alone admit it to others!!

:sob: :sob:

I am so dang sick and tired of being afraid, every
single day!! I mean .....

.. EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

Believe me, this eats at me, persistently!

Anyway, I am just using this opportunity here to vent
about it. Thanks for reading.

.. and even though i do not have the Faith i should,
i still believe in and love Jesus with all my heart &
soul!

:nod: :nod:


`

[Jessie]

get ahold of the midwest center for anxiety.
they help people. you have to get past the call center.

[CoreIssue]

:pray:

[a.baker]

:pray::hug::pray:
John, I also have a very serious fear and I don't think it has to do with my faith in God. I also don't think your fear has to do with your faith in God. That could be a twist, Satan is trying to pull off on you. He sees something in you and he grabs it and tries to use it to his advantage. Only you know if it is a question of faith. I have much faith, very strong and I also have a bad fear I have no control over. God has made it so I can cope but it's there and Satan tries to play with me on my fears, boy does he. Satan knows us well too and his favorite is mind playing games. Trying to over come something or just trying to get a hold of it can take lots of time. God will work with you and help you through it. I think we all have fears; some are more intense than others. It may help to think about where this may of originated from or what triggers it. Is it a fear of wide open space and if so where does the fear of wide open space come from? Could it be the realization of how small we are and having no control over the ultimate? Baby steps; thinking it through ,with God, with lots of prayer can help you get a hold of this to a certain level. But be patient with yourself it takes a lot of time. Will be praying for you!

[InTheWind]

Praying for ya bro. :pray:

[a.baker]

Just thinking ; to question if it's a matter of faith or just a fear look at other areas in your life where faith is required. If those areas are weak of faith than this could be a fear that has faith in question where it needs to be strengthened. If beyond a doubt your faith is strong in all aspects and could withhold the test than maybe this is just a fear and Satan is playing off of your fear and saying to you "Ha look at your little faith your weak blah blah". If it is just a fear; with your strong faith and God, you can bring this to a certain level; but like I said it will take time. And again only you know if this is a question of faith or just a fear. Like David and Goliath story. David had to of been very scared, but with faith and trust in God he stood up to it. With God you can too. I hope that helps in some way.

[John Beckett]

`

get ahold of the midwest center for anxiety.

Thanks, Jessie. I have actually done that already at the
behest of another Christian friend, just like you

:hug:

Funny thing is, agoraphobia is not my only problem. I also
have anger management issues, thanks to a certain parent
who raised me with an iron fist and very cruel, nasty words
of ridicule and literal despisal and disdain! Thus, I have had
many a situation turn ugly because of my quick temper!

THUS, Midwest Center's website has already banned me
from posting and receiving messages there.

TO MYSELF: Leave it up to you, John! :catfight:


`

[John Beckett]

John, I also have a very serious fear and I don't think it has to do with my faith in God. I also don't think your fear has to do with your faith in God. That could be a twist, Satan is trying to pull off on you. He sees something in you and he grabs it and tries to use it to his advantage. Only you know if it is a question of faith. I have much faith, very strong and I also have a bad fear I have no control over. God has made it so I can cope but it's there and Satan tries to play with me on my fears, boy does he. Satan knows us well too and his favorite is mind playing games. Trying to over come something or just trying to get a hold of it can take lots of time. God will work with you and help you through it. I think we all have fears; some are more intense than others. It may help to think about where this may of originated from or what triggers it. Is it a fear of wide open space and if so where does the fear of wide open space come from? Could it be the realization of how small we are and having no control over the ultimate? Baby steps; thinking it through ,with God, with lots of prayer can help you get a hold of this to a certain level. But be patient with yourself it takes a lot of time. Will be praying for you!


Baker, I have already thought of that, probably the same way
you have, via the Holy Spirit Revealing it to us. And I am glad
I thought of it because it does make sense. In fact, you may
not know this, but i personally believe Jesus has me here in
this world on a "Mission". What exactly that Mission is, i am
not sure of. But something tells me that, because i believe it,
then our adversary knows i do, and he may be hammering this
fear into my head in order to keep me from succeeding at it.

Yes, we all have a purpose in this world for the Lord, and so
the devil is doing the same thing to you and others. Just as you
alluded to above, Sis.

Thank you and Core for the prayers. :): :):


`

[John Beckett]

`

Praying for ya bro. :pray:


Thank you so much, ITW. :):

The effectual fervent prayer of a
righteous man availeth much. James 5::16


`

[CoreIssue]

We all have our struggles. Some much harder than others.

Hang in there.