two become one under God, when married?? LOL.

[John Beckett]

`

Apparently not in this house.

I have been told by wifey that --not only am I not allowed to
open her snail mail-- but that it is against the law to open
someone else's mail. Those were her words. I kid you not.

My question: Am I wrong here for NOT liking or agreeing with
her attitude on this?? I mean, we are as one. Nothing should be
hidden from the other, except for a diary. And even that should be
said in advance of the relationship.

"Touch anything of mine, except for my diary!!"

I can see that, I suppose.

But "don't open my mail??!" :scratch:

She and I spoke with the pastor of our Church last night after
service, and he gave her a surprised look when I told him what
she said. Then she asked him, "Pastor, does your wife open your mail??"

She wasn't too happy when he replied that he and his wife open each
other's mail.

Two as one.

What is so difficult to understand??

Anyway, if you have any opinion on this, please feel free to
either reply here or in PM.

tyvm :):

[Jessie]

`

Apparently not in this house.

I have been told by wifey that --not only am I not allowed to
open her snail mail-- but that it is against the law to open
someone else's mail. Those were her words. I kid you not.

My question: Am I wrong here for NOT liking or agreeing with
her attitude on this?? I mean, we are as one. Nothing should be
hidden from the other, except for a diary. And even that should be
said in advance of the relationship.

"Touch anything of mine, except for my diary!!"

I can see that, I suppose.

But "don't open my mail??!" :scratch:

She and I spoke with the pastor of our Church last night after
service, and he gave her a surprised look when I told him what
she said. Then she asked him, "Pastor, does your wife open your mail??"

She wasn't too happy when he replied that he and his wife open each
other's mail.

Two as one.

What is so difficult to understand??

Anyway, if you have any opinion on this, please feel free to
either reply here or in PM.

tyvm :):

for her to use such strong words is concerning.

is it possible that in other areas she needs privacy and its coming out like this?

even in "this" house 2 are'nt one. he continuously changes his mind
and does'nt inform me. Like the previous conversation did'nt happen, or more like it did'nt matter.

[John Beckett]

`

LOL. Wouldn't ya know it?? Here I am complaining, and then she decides to
call from her cell phone and ask me if she got any mail. I said yes, and she was
impatient that I didn't open it because she wanted to know what was inside.


:swoon:

[John Beckett]

even in "this" house 2 are'nt one. he continuously changes his mind
and does'nt inform me. Like the previous conversation did'nt happen, or more like it did'nt matter.

Awwww. Jessie, I am so sorry. You're such a good kid. I can't understand why your
hubby is being so difficult. He should be praising Jesus for Bringing you into his life.


`

[Jessie]

`

LOL. Wouldn't ya know it?? Here I am complaining, and then she decides to
call from her cell phone and ask me if she got any mail. I said yes, and she was
impatient that I didn't open it because she wanted to know what was inside.


:swoon:

is'nt that the way it goes??? ;) and it makes no sense.

[John Beckett]

`

Yeah, you women are hard to figure out.


YIKES! Did I say that?? :peep:

[InTheWind]

So John, when did you get married?:):

[John Beckett]

`

I got married in April. I was living in Minnesota, and she
is in Tennessee. We met in a game room chat, over at
Yahoo's Pyramids.


`

[CoreIssue]

Con'grats! :D

[a.baker]

Yes John that is very funny! Funny how women don't make sense like that isn't it? It's like they can't make up their minds. Just stereotyping... There are women out there that aren't like that but they are hard to find though. Its so hard to find a significant other that doesn't have some kind of stereotyping quirk. I feel lucky in this field because my husband doesn't really have one and I feel neither do I. We have been married for almost 8yrs. and we don't care if each other looks in the others mail or in their personals we just have nothing to hide. I guess the only time I want privacy is when I am in the bathroom doing my business Ha Ha Ha! We do have our problems at times but I think everyone does. I am lucky to be able to talk to him about anything and he listens and actually helps to support me or understand me and vise versa. We seem to agree on what a marriage should be about and that makes it a lot easier! We are both completely different people since when we first married but yet we have grown together instead of apart. I have done a back flip in my attitude and personality and him too but it was all positive. I can be weird around him and he thinks I'm funny or cute. It's just so nice to be able to come home and have someone know you inside and out. You don't even have to say anything and they know what your thinking. I just feel very lucky in this topic even though we have problems at times. If anything ever happened to him I don't think I would be able to breath. I would feel lost and confused. He is my other half to that makes us one. No matter what life throws at us I just can't imagine to be with anyone else. If I ever became a widow for example than thats all I would ever be; a widow. I would feel like I was cheating if I ever married again no matter how long it was since the event. Women do seem to take things that are insignificant and make them a deal. So I guess my advice is as long as its not a serious issue just smile and let it go. But if it is serious than it must be dealt with right away so things don't become bottled up. Sometimes the little things really matter! And its o.k. to disagree; in the end it makes the relationship stronger after it's worked out. Everything can be worked out, just both sides have to be willing though for that to happen. They always call the first year of marriage the honeymoon stage and I beg to disagree. Its the hardest year because you are both still getting used to each other and knowing each other and can have rather many difficult struggles. As time goes on and the marriage is healthy than the struggles become far and few in between. :D

[John Beckett]

tyvm for sharing that, Baker.

By the way, what exactly do you bake? Just curious.

[a.baker]

Ha Ha Ha! My maiden name was Welsh. My brother got married to a girl with the same first and middle name as me and now she also has my old last name. Thats ironic. People also say she looks like me a little. She is also my age and I named my daughter after her sister without knowing it. Small world. Now my name is so common.

[eahaddix]

Apparently not in this house.

I have been told by wifey that --not only am I not allowed to
open her snail mail-- but that it is against the law to open
someone else's mail. Those were her words. I kid you not.

:swoon:

:hmm: My wife and I believe that women who experience such uncontrolled emotional mood swings regularly are acting "in" their fleshy bodily natures for some reason (ref. Galatians 5:19-23 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%205:19-23;&version=31;)), as opposed to "simply being the usual irrational woman" according to the philosophical paradigm of "women are from Venus and men are from Mars." After all, should we not expect more from a Godly woman than an unGodly woman (ref. Proverbs 31:10-31 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031:10-31;&version=31;))?

So, really, she needs some help, not more independence to feed her fleshy bodily natures.

[John Beckett]

`

Thank you, eahaddix. I agree.

After the meeting behind closed doors with her pastor Wednesday night,
she has been acting more like the woman I married.

Nice to meet you, by the way.

And I truly appreciate your wife's input, as well. I mean, it's good to
get the opinions of a fellow Brother in the Lord, but to receive reassurance
from a Sister is even better, because it shows that I am not just being
biased and over-bearing due to the personal belief that husbands are to be the
heads of the households.

[kay-gee]

I kinda have to open her mail bacause she's in The Bahamas and I'm in Canada. Her mail comes here. What a lucky guy I am. I get to see her bills and pay them! Stuff of a personal nature I likely would not open unless addressed to both of us. Never been a huge issue for us. However, having said that, There is one rule written in stone (By whom, I know not, it's seems natural). I will never look through her (or any womans) purse! Verbotten! Won't happen! If I need something like a key or such, I will bring the purse to her. Can anyone relate?

all the best...

[John Beckett]

`

What a lucky guy I am. I get to see her bills and pay them!

rofl!!! That was a knee-slapper, even if it is true! :roflmbo:



However, There is one rule written in stone. I will never look through her (or
any womans) purse! Verbotten! Won't happen! If I need something like a key
or such, I will bring the purse to her. Can anyone relate?

Yes, I am the same way. Plus, it guarantees that if anything is
missing from said purse, she'll know I am not to blame.

[InTheWind]

`

I got married in April. I was living in Minnesota, and she
is in Tennessee. We met in a game room chat, over at
Yahoo's Pyramids.


`

A big congratulations too you and the luck lady. :tiphat:

[Jessie]

how do you like married life ??
and is your wife a believer?

and congratulations! wishing all the best for you!

[John Beckett]

`

TYVM for the congrats, ITW, Core, and Jessie. :)

Yes, she is a Believer. NO WAY i would have married her, otherwise.

She and I even attend Church together two or three times a week. Four
times, if I had my way. Actually, seven. No joke. We'll be in Heaven
one day, so let us spend as much time in fellowship as possible, i say.

Amen??? :nod: :nod:

i LOVE the married life, when we are not arguing. LOL. For the past two
days, we have been quite calm and kosher. i believe God is Using people
around us whom she respects to influence her to be more of a wife in God,
rather than a woman who lives here with her husband.

Please pray for us. I just told her this morning that --if we continue on this
way, with her saying I love you first and holding me for no reason other than to
just have me in her arms-- I'll never be miserable, and we'll spend eternity together
worshiping Jesus!!

Just last night, she wouldn't even go to sleep until I hugged her. I was floored!!

Floored in a GOOD way, Brothers and Sisters!! :yowza:

[a.baker]

The purse thing, yes my husband doesn't like to get into my purse either. I tell him to go for it because I don't care. If he takes money though let me no so I don't go to the gas station for example and pump gas and the money I thought was there is now gone. He still won't go into my purse unless I tell him too. It bothers me that it bothers him. :D

[a.baker]

Shesh its just a purse!

[a.baker]

I suppose my main issue that I have a concern with is my husband being home to let me go to church and understanding how important God and Jesus is to me and no matter his view on things that he gives it respect (i.e. don't interrupt me if I am praying or reading His Word). I in turn give him respect with what he doesn't believe by not harping on him. We can some how talk about it all the time without tempers flaring. When he starts saying nasty things against Jesus I can get angry fast (something I need to work on). When we got married I thought I believed but I never opened up my bible than so I didn't get it. He never really believed in Jesus but does in a God. So I have found the Truth and he's still lost. Another important thing to me is that he gives me a chance once or twice a week to do my favorite hobby. Other than that when it comes to things we are generally both pretty lax on all that stuff. Really no privacy and its not an issue. A marriage is all give and take to a balance. I agree a man or woman that is a Christian should model what is upright in Gods eyes. After all we are supposed to live in all directions he points out to us not just a couple. :):

[Jessie]

`

TYVM for the congrats, ITW, Core, and Jessie. :)

Yes, she is a Believer. NO WAY i would have married her, otherwise.

She and I even attend Church together two or three times a week. Four
times, if I had my way. Actually, seven. No joke. We'll be in Heaven
one day, so let us spend as much time in fellowship as possible, i say.

Amen??? :nod: :nod:

i LOVE the married life, when we are not arguing. LOL. For the past two
days, we have been quite calm and kosher. i believe God is Using people
around us whom she respects to influence her to be more of a wife in God,
rather than a woman who lives here with her husband.

Please pray for us. I just told her this morning that --if we continue on this
way, with her saying I love you first and holding me for no reason other than to
just have me in her arms-- I'll never be miserable, and we'll spend eternity together
worshiping Jesus!!

Just last night, she wouldn't even go to sleep until I hugged her. I was floored!!

Floored in a GOOD way, Brothers and Sisters!! :yowza:

I love it. I wish for that.

[kay-gee]

The purse thing seems to be almost universal with guys. As I said, It's like this unwritten rule made up by noone in particular. I guess there's an innate fear of what we might find in there. What about bank accounts? We still have separate. I think that even though two become one, somethings are best kept private. She has accounts at 3 separate banks which I don't understand. Thats just here. It's a lotta work staying on top of them. I like things simpler and easier to manage. I have one bank and one account, not including investments. We're trying to get a joint account on our island, but the paper work is unbelievable. We kinda have a system though. Expenditures over a set amount have to be discussed as a team and under that amount don't. Small things like a hardware item or grocery will pass easily where as the motorcycle require discussion. We've always been careful shoppers. We prioritize. Right now, I think a generator is a good investment for us, as the event of a hurricane is eventually inevitable. We discuss and budget for it. Then we work on the next thing. So two become one but in some ways still kinda separate.
all the best...

[a.baker]

I don't know I just believe that everything and all should be one. There is really no reason for anything to be separate unless say its for a business. But in that case it would be the business asset and not the persons. The business would be kinda like a third person or LLC so to speak. But what works for some doesn't work for all. But I just feel to become one means all, as a whole, significant and insignificant.

[roman8]

the purse thing

I have no difficulty with anyone going into my purse . My husband will not though. I have so much stuff in there I think it scares him;) . as far as the mail thing goes we dont open each others mail , it would be ok if he did , we just dont.

John , you just got married , so its safe to assume she was alone before? Maybe she just needs some time to get used to things with someone else . She would have had her own routine and that can be hard to change. If you have all the big stuff in order , then this is a small issue that will take care of its self. IMO Sounds like it is already:):

[kay-gee]

a.baker, why do you think that everything should be one. What is wrong with departmental-izing?
all the best...

[a.baker]

I just think thats what it means by two become one. Everything as a whole. We become children of God as a whole. We have no privacy with Him nor is anything separate. I feel thats how marriage should be too. I feel thats what God means.

[CoreIssue]

Eve came from Adam. Marriage reunites the division into one entity.

As God is 3 joined together as one, so is marriage.

Marriage is union, sharing of all. Not selective we share this but not that.

[a.baker]

Thanks Core and I agree! You can always explain it better than I.:D