Parents chooseing your spouse

[KRISSY]

What is it with Christians and family members who forces marriages and relationships on younger members of there congregration? I was slated to marry someone who I've never met, my mom was the pusher continually telling me it's for the best. I have always been against arranged marriges but when she told me that 'I had to' do it I rebelled thats the word parents oftenly used when their children dont do as they pleased. Is this disobedience and rebellion, as both disobedience and rebellion are sins.:nod:
NB I am not from a cultural background that arranged marriage is practiced. :tiphat:

[CoreIssue]

I don't have a clue what you are talking about here.

Arranged marriages are a thing of history.

The only ones who claim to be Christians, that I am aware of, that still do this, are cults.

Exactly which group is doing this?

[KRISSY]

My grandaunt is filing for me, it's rather slow and my mother think it should be a little faster. My grandaunt suggest that I marry to someone she knows, I said it to my mother and she told me I should do it. I being capable of making my own decisions told her no but she think I'm being disobedient, is this so? I dont know of either my mother or grandaunt in any kind of group.

[Jessie]

is your mom a christian or is this a cultural thing in your family?

[KRISSY]

She attends church but I cant tell of the relationship she has with Christ. She got baptize a year agfter me, I am not certain if it's a cultural thing as it's the first it has been mentioned to me.

[Jane Doe]

My grandaunt is filing for me, it's rather slow and my mother think it should be a little faster. My grandaunt suggest that I marry to someone she knows, I said it to my mother and she told me I should do it. I being capable of making my own decisions told her no but she think I'm being disobedient, is this so? I dont know of either my mother or grandaunt in any kind of group.

Krissy,
I am confused, how could anyone file marriage for someone else? What country are you in? For your mother to try forcing something like the sacrament of marriage unto you is shocking, and standing against that is not disobedient, especially because it couldn’t be a cultural thing.


“ I am not certain if it's a cultural thing as it's the first it has been mentioned to me.”


….You would be sure..

Also, why would you associate arranged marriages to Christians? Does your mother use the Lord as why you should marry someone ?

[KRISSY]

I'm from Jamaica Jane, I'm not implyibg that Christians pose arrange marriges on others. Thats far from it, I was wondering why some Christians believe that after being in church for a while they keep asking 'if youre not getting married'. I'm confused thats just the truth

[Chrystalwuzhere]

My mother always tried to pick out men she thought would be best for me to marry, and I put a stop to it. My mother is a good christian lady...just overly "helpful" where that is concerned.

You are not being disobedient by saying no. I can't speak for your culture, though. If it is culture there to arrange marriages, well, I'm helpless as to what to tell you. Cultures are different everywhere. I know that you should marry in the Lord, of course, and only someone you feel the strongest love for. It is your life, and you'll only live once. It should be with someone you will be happy with, and be able to build a life with.

But if you're bound by culture, well... I'm proud of you for saying no. It's not easy thing to kick against tradition.

I'm sorry, I haven't anything more helpful to add.

[KRISSY]

I'm not the slighest sorry I said no Chrystalwuzhere what annoys me is that she blames me for saying no. I will still say no even if she comes today and ask me again. Some mothers just want to dictate there children's life at whatever cost. Thank you all for your imput, my answer will always remain the same.

[Jane Doe]

I'm from Jamaica Jane, I'm not implyibg that Christians pose arrange marriges on others. Thats far from it, I was wondering why some Christians believe that after being in church for a while they keep asking 'if youre not getting married'. I'm confused thats just the truth


The more I noticed the more it seems people generally speaking, in the work place, within the family, friends, other married couples, ask that to nonmarrieds. Most of the time it's kinda of a rude and intruding thing to pry into..but it seems to have been accepted most everywhere to assume that its part of casual dialog. Sorry to hear that your mom's and your relationship is being strained. Will keep you in prayers.

[KRISSY]

Thanks Jane I'm absolutely puzzled as to how to let her know that I'm capable of making conscious decisions whether it's about spouse, finances anything. I would not dismissed her contributions to my life but ask that she trust
. me. Thank you all for your encouraging words.