My wonderful family in CHRIST, i need help!

[John * Thunder!]

`


How many of you will remember me, I am not sure. However, I remember all of you
who were here the last time I posted, and I am not slow to say that I have sincerely
missed all of you!

Now that I am back, I need your help. BAD!

There is a demon that has been plaguing me for the last four years, and it has a
name, at least the name doctors and mental health experts have given it. They call
this issue [or demon, as I call it] agoraphobia!!

If you are not familiar with the term, it is a mild-to-severe psychological problem
which causes its victim to remain almost glued to only places he or she is
familiar with! These places are called "safety zones".

Notice my photo below , and see how tough I look,
especially with that Bible verse # above my head. I deliberately made that signature
for my own sake {and sanity} because this relentless demon is, well, relentless!

I now live alone in rural Minnesota, approximately 28 miles WEST of Minneapolis, noone
to talk to here, no friends, no family. I moved here because of a health center
called First Street. It is only called that because it is on 1st Street in Waconia, MN.
I heard nothing but good things about it, so I moved here to check it out. That's
how bad this fear/anxiety/phobia problem is! And although it has gotten considerably
better (obviously, if I was able to make it here to MN all the way from RI, even though
I was drugged most of the trip), it is still with me.

The reason I have posted this in the debate Forum is because I would like your input
as to whether or not you think that i am lacking in faith, seeing that Almighty GOD has
Gotten me so far in this life {I am 38, 39 this coming Oct}, or if you believe that
I have a legitimate reason to be terrified at times.

[I]Even i have asked GOD, "Father, what do you have to do to get me to know
beyond any doubt whatsoever that You are With me, after all You have Brought me
through??"

Interestingly enough, there is a smiley/emoticon here which illustrates pretty clearly
exactly what my brain does when I come to a high bridge, tall building, wide open
area, or any distance past 20 miles from wherever I live! This is it right here .....

:aah: No joke!

PLEASE, PRAY FOR ME!!! That's all I am asking, my beloved Brethren in CHRIST!!

Please!!!!! :pray:


One more thing. You will notice that I'll be posting in other threads after this one
beginning today -- 6-18-06. Please don't think that I am lying or that I am a
Sybil case if and when you see me laughing, joking or whatever. I am in
my apartment when I read/post here, so I am comfortable. And because I am a
people person to begin with, I love to make people happy and see ppl smile.

GOD Bless & Keep, everyone!

i will be praying for this whole website in a few minutes when i pray my
nightly prayer. This is by far the best discussion Forum, Christian and non, on the
entire internet!

:nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod:


`

[John * Thunder!]

one more quickie: I chose that avatar up near my name because
I also have a fear of going to sleep at night. WHEW! Boy, am I in
bad shape. I laughed when I first saw that because it fits me, at least
for now. I am working on it, though, just as I am working on my
phobia demon! Ciao for now!

[PrayzHim]

Don't know much about this phobia, but know that we'll be praying for you!! :pray:

[CoreIssue]

One thing I have learned is that those who enter psychiatry to get help often get the opposite, they get worse.

I was in a serious accident once that messed me up pretty good. My immediate reaction was to fear cars, especially driving.

Did I go to a specialist to analyse my fears and slowly get me back into a car?

No. As soon as I was able made myself get in the car with my wife and go places. I broke out in sweat and everything else, but kept reminding myself I drove for years before the accident and here I was with everything the same again.

The fear faded because I allowed myself to see it as nothing but stupid and self inflicted.

Then, when I healed up enough, I forced myself to drive. Oh boy. I flinched at everything that moved.

I got mad at myself, called myself a few names and forced myself to drive, even when there was no purpose in driving.

Then one day, I was suddenly back to normal. By demands on myself along with my prayers to God reached the point the fears just simply broke and went away.

Hope that helps. Sometimes sharing gives some insight. Other times it does not.

Glad to hear from you again, old friend.

[Brandli5]

May God protect you..

You are being decived. Rather its mental, or Demonic, or rather a chemical imbalace I do not know, But I will pray for you.

Things like this are serious and you should get some help. You yourself know if its you, and if you lack faith.

Its in your court now, you have reconized it and you and only you can do something.

Asking us for the sake of debate can only make it worse and confuse you.

[CoreIssue]

I agree debating it is not the best.

But sometimes multiple insights can add up to one correct answer.:D

[John * Thunder!]

Thank you all for your prayers.

I went to the First Street Center for help, and I was disappointed. I have since bought the
ATTACKING ANXIETY & DEPRESSION cd/dvd program by Lucinda Bassett, and she is a
Christian woman who believes that we can be healed with sheer determination and faith
in The LORD and ourselves, and without meds!

I also bought a bike.

When I went to Walmart in Shakopee, I dined at Chili's first, and deliberately WALKED from
the restaurant to Walmart, and it was wide open! That doesn't mean that it is easy to conquer fear,
because it's not. I have come a long way since 2002 when my fear reached its peak!

I just stopped taking the Clonapin pills 2 weeks ago, COLD TURKEY!!

CI, thank you very much for that anecdote, Brother. I need to be reminded that
only I can get myself off this, as Brandli said. :) TY, Sis.

And by the way, something tells me that this blasted demon isn't too thrilled with my
coming back here. And it's even LESS thrilled about the prayers y'all are offering.

Loves ya!

J * T!

[CoreIssue]

Sounding good! Ask for advice from many, take what is sane and be personally responsible for yourself. And pray the Lord backs you to walk a sane path.:nod:

[Jane Doe]

one more quickie: I chose that avatar up near my name because
I also have a fear of going to sleep at night. WHEW! Boy, am I in
bad shape. I laughed when I first saw that because it fits me, at least
for now. I am working on it, though, just as I am working on my
phobia demon! Ciao for now!


What exactly do you fear about going to sleep?

[Jane Doe]

Thank you all for your prayers.

I went to the First Street Center for help, and I was disappointed. I have since bought the
ATTACKING ANXIETY & DEPRESSION cd/dvd program by Lucinda Bassett, and she is a
Christian woman who believes that we can be healed with sheer determination and faith
in The LORD and ourselves, and without meds!

I also bought a bike.

When I went to Walmart in Shakopee, I dined at Chili's first, and deliberately WALKED from
the restaurant to Walmart, and it was wide open! That doesn't mean that it is easy to conquer fear,
because it's not. I have come a long way since 2002 when my fear reached its peak!


J * T!


Congradulations John, it sounds like you are doing alot better than in RI! I pray that you use that bike! It will be fun, and you get to soak in God's crafsmanship in the MN summer air. You say in 2002 your fear reached it peak, when did it begin?

[John * Thunder!]

What exactly do you fear about going to sleep?

I fear waking up before the morning light. I am all alone here. I don't like
waking up 1200 miles from Rhode Island, where I've lived all my life. That's why
I am typing this to you now at 12:37 in the morn. I am so tired of this baseless
fear!

Grrrr. :ick:

[John * Thunder!]

`

You say in 2002 your fear reached it peak, when did it begin?


It began in 1985 after I flipped out from a pcp-laced joint. Of course, back then,
I had no idea what the problem was. I didn't find out till I was in Canada with my
girlfriend at the time Lorraine. One day, I was explaining to her what it was that
I was going through because I was on the verge of losing my cool as she and I were
walking and holding hands up a high hill, and she said she knew that it is called
AGORAPHOBIA. So I looked it up when we returned home and I was astounded that
the same symptoms the Yahoo Agoraphobia website was naming were the very
same ones I was experiencing on a daily basis!


Right now, I am about halfway through recovery. :( It takes so dang long!


I need to find someone to help me get through this once and for all. Without
Divine Intervention, i don't know how much more i can take!!!


Day in and day out, every single day!! GRRrrrrrrrrrrr!! :grr:


Thank you for your support, Jane. :hug:

`

[Joanne]

Hey JT, I did receive your last e-mail, so here I am. Not sure how this forum works just yet so this is probably not the place I should post this. :yowza:

As far as your condition is concerned, some people have it all their lives, and you are half way better. Try to be patient, I think you're doing great. It just takes time. Keep on doing what your doing. The Lord has His hand on you...you will not fall.

You are in my prayers: Joanne

[John * Thunder!]

`

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Thanks, Mom. Me wuvs you, too. :nod:

[CoreIssue]

You put it in a fine place, Joanne.

Got to keep John on his toes! :nod: