question!

[Jessie]

I know in the past we went over this but for the life of me,
I just cant remember what was said!

what is honoring mother and father in the bible.
obviously we dont have to cator to wants....

what about when they are using it as a legalistic tool over you?

[Brandli5]

I am not quite sure about your question.

I did find this link that you might can read to find out something of your question.

Link (http://www.gotquestions.org/honor-abusive-parent.html)

[CoreIssue]

I am not quite sure about your question.

I did find this link that you might can read to find out something of your question.

Link (http://www.gotquestions.org/honor-abusive-parent.html)
Sorry, but there is that forgiving without repentence thing again.

Honor does not mean agree with on all things, it does not mean support at all costs and it does not mean anything goes.

It means respect of position, as in being parents.

And that is not the same as making parents respectable in character, actions or such.

The distinction is important to keep in mind.

One can most assuredly honor a parent without forgiving things they do that they will not repent of.

Yep. One cuts bad parents a ton of slack. More than others.

But that does not mean you allow yourself, your spouse or children to be harmed by them.

[Jessie]

thanks! I just could'nt remember and we got a letter from dh's mom,
theres been a huge rift between them and she
was using the honor your mother and father scriptures,

but the letter is all about herself.

she expects him to just not be angry anymore cause shes his mom.

she cant be trusted. one motto shes always had was when things got
rough, she'd always say "oh well"
I got to the point I hated those words.

shes expecting him to go "oh well" and just get over it.

[Brandli5]

I am sorry over that. I myself could not imagine being so angery at someone I could not ever mend the feelings.

I will pray for your family that even though, we do not have to forgive, that there will be forgivness and love in the family.


There is no need to be afraid to admit a total inability to forgive to the Father because it seems to us to come under the heading of sin. It is true that unforgiveness is sin, but that is only deliberate unforgiveness, where we have set our hearts like flint and vowed that never again will we ever consider forgiveness for those who have hurt us so badly.

Deliverate unforgivness now, is that a sin?? I mean it goes along with what we were talking about before right?? I would hope that link is correct since its from a very great source.

[CoreIssue]

I am sorry over that. I myself could not imagine being so angery at someone I could not ever mend the feelings.

I will pray for your family that even though, we do not have to forgive, that there will be forgivness and love in the family.
That does make it tough

I know people whose parents have disowned them for marrying the wrong person, for becoming a different faith and so on. Some for incest rape, physical abuse, abandonment and much more.

For some it is so very hard. Others extremely difficult.

The repentence factor is a must in many issues.

[Brandli5]

Check my post again, I added something. lol

[CoreIssue]

I am sorry over that. I myself could not imagine being so angery at someone I could not ever mend the feelings.

I will pray for your family that even though, we do not have to forgive, that there will be forgivness and love in the family.


There is no need to be afraid to admit a total inability to forgive to the Father because it seems to us to come under the heading of sin. It is true that unforgiveness is sin, but that is only deliberate unforgiveness, where we have set our hearts like flint and vowed that never again will we ever consider forgiveness for those who have hurt us so badly.

Deliverate unforgivness now, is that a sin?? I mean it goes along with what we were talking about before right?? I would hope that link is correct since its from a very great source.
The link is not correct. There is not a single mention of repentence being needed.

All it says is we must try to forgive... period. The sin comes in by refusing to even try.

The very logic of that is unsound. Either something is a sin or it is not a sin. Being willing to stop sinning does not make any sinful acts unsinful.

They are trying to work around an untenable position on their part.

If repentence enters the picture then it is a sin to be hard hearted and not forgive. Or work hard to forgive, which means one has forgiven in the spirit but their minds and flesh refuse to follow suit.

But even there the sin is with the flesh, not the spirit. And the sin of the spirit has already been forgiven upon repentence and conversion.

[Jessie]

he does'nt hate her, but shes very difficult,
she has said mean things about me and my oldest also.

for her family comes first, then God. when something goes wrong,
its "oh well"...
so most of them are alcoholics and drug addicts and worse.
its really bad.

outsiders like me, well, no compassion or thoughtfullness etc.
shes wof. and if one is'nt to her liking the devils there.

its very weird.

the last incident last sept or oct. my bil passed away,
and the way things were done and handled was a mess.
but its always a mess.
if they'd have listened he'd still be here. but
she would'nt have none of it, although he was a adult to do what he wanted.
actually the whole clan did'nt really seem to care.
more concerned to get their way and cover up stuff.

Brandi for me and my family, I forgave all the time,
and they took me for a ride. and then I started getting sick from it.
migraines, which many here have prayed for and helped me with,
cause I would forgive and then try to act like nothing happened,
well, they did'nt change! and so I got pounded!
I dont hate them, but there can be NO reconciliation till
they change. a rapist in the family, mom married 8 times,
and I'm not allowed to say thats not ok or not be ok with it.
its all covered up, hidden to the outside world.
I wish it was different, but its not. its awful ugly.

one thing I thought about today, is there is a emense amount of spitefullness in both familys.
neither one will be told what to do. but they call themselves Christians,
but no repentence!

[CoreIssue]

A good point brought out that I failed to cover.

Not forgiving does not mean one hates the person. It simply means they have no reason to forgive and forget the situation. That they know it will happen again if the opportunity arises.

Recognizing the failures and dangerous in and of another person is not hate, it is wisdom. Not forgiving them of what they do not repent of is not having an unforgiving nature, it is the simple reality you cannot forgive what is ongoing.

[Brandli5]

I have a family kinda like what Jesse is saying there. They keep doing things to me that hurt my feelings.

I do not go up to them and say "I forgive you" I just basically try to avoid them.

In my heart however, I find peace, the peace God gives me. The peace I need to live. If I ingore that peace and find things to hate, or feel malice over towards my family and not feel the love, and kindness towards them, I feel Misirable.

I feel like I can't sleep nor eat.

If someone hurts me, yes it hurts, and unless they speak to me and say "Forgive me please" I do not go up to them and say " I forgive you".

But in my heart, I feel forgivness them towards them. This is what makes Human kind peaceful.

There is no way I am goint to walk around with contempt for someone and be able to come to Christ and pray, and live a Godly life.

If I held contempt for others in my heart, I would be hatful to everyone, and want to yell and hit things. Or have a heart attack one.

I just find that Yes I know I am not good at "Forgiving" I am not good and knowing I should forgive, But Jesus Christ and his love for me as made me see "forgiveness" and love for others.

That might not be required, but it sure does fit my life. It fits what Jesus wants for me, He helps me to overcome malice towards me. Because I alone sure wouldn't.

It might not be required at all, but do you not think you can get Blessing for being able to let go and love, instead of holding on to something someone has done??

[Brandli5]

Might I also add this verse that is just wonderful in my eyes.

"And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." - (Ephesians 4:32)

[CoreIssue]

Might I also add this verse that is just wonderful in my eyes.

"And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." - (Ephesians 4:32)
It is beautiful.

But remember, that says one to another, a two-way street.

When it ceases to be two-way then the other verses kick in.

Sad we even need the others way too often.

[Jessie]

good points that are brought out!

my family almost destroyed me, and they are continueing their spitefullness in covert ways.

for me I think my goodness cant you grow up? God says NOT to do these things.
but they obviously dont listen to Him.

by the time they all got done I'd have no one and nothing and I mean that literally!
its been a struggle to say the least.