pray for me

[Jessie]

I dont know if this is hormones ( things are changing and they really get me now) or another repressing of some feeling.

I've had a migraine for at least 3 days, dispair feeling like I was sinking again to the point I did'nt care if I lived. (boy I dont like that!)

I am not going to talk to my grandma anymore could be it too,
she made some statements like when a child is molested ect, they should'nt tell their parents, and then another issue came up where she told me "I dont know what you all are going to do in heaven cause God is'nt going to allow this fighting"

I had put a boundry down, and she did'nt like it. see since she is 89 I try not to
get into it with her.

so I dont know if that had a lot to do with how Im feeling.

she can get angry but I cant? she gets furious at some people.
I get frustrated, but not hateful.

I dont know, I'm at a loss here and cant seem to figure it out.

thank you for the prayers!

[InTheWind]

:pray: .

[Chrystalwuzhere]

:pray:

[Jessie]

I could feel the oppresson lifting after I posted and your prayers God heard. I'm better, still a bit of pain in the back of my head and I dont feel like I'm in a dark pit!

I'm trying to learn from my consiling how to not fall back into this when I get triggered.

I need some wisdom!

she said I got flooded to much all at once. I do think its best to disconnect from her anyhow.
I want to grow in the Lord and it stalls me when she does these things.

one thing that came out this morning is that I get confused with guilt.
doing things out of guilt rather than love. which I would prefer the latter!

[CoreIssue]

:pray:

[Jessie]

something just kicked in. I run from fear. fear of this that or whatever.

and I know I have to face it not run. (emotionally) in wof I lost my coping skills what little I had, I'd been praying my fear would leave rather than the Lord giving me strength and the ability to cope with it. even in my praying I was running. I need courage to face things.

I know it sounds dumb, but wof knocks one for a loop... grrrrr.

[Brandli5]

:pray: Sure will be praying for you.


Just remember this... I have had 3 grandparents all over 80. They do change in there talking alot. Most of the time its something they would not ever say, but because they are older and losing control over thoughts, and decision making over what to say, there speech can be a tad mixed.

[LDinthewoods]

http://i3.tinypic.com/vyrz9d.jpg

[Jessie]

:pray: Sure will be praying for you.


Just remember this... I have had 3 grandparents all over 80. They do change in there talking alot. Most of the time its something they would not ever say, but because they are older and losing control over thoughts, and decision making over what to say, there speech can be a tad mixed.


yes, I do understand, but shes on top of her game.
today in consiling I learned thats how it was done in her day.
I feel like I cant be "me" around them. they dont like my emotions (any showing of emotion)
and I'm a huge threat to their world. I know way to much. truth rocks the boat.

her only problem at this time is that she cant breathe around perfumes,
even if its the smell in ones shampoo. shes so mentally alert I'm happy for her in that regards,
she is afraid she'd get like her older sis that totaly lost it.

very manipulative too, her daughter and son (my mom and uncle) can do no wrong.
she does'nt realise I think that she is enabling them to do wrong and really does not know just how bad they can be.

and good to see you on the board!

[PrayzHim]

:pray: Praying for you Jessie!

[LDinthewoods]

Continuing to pray for you.


http://i3.tinypic.com/voois7.gif

[Flames]

Prayer's for ya Jessie.

[InTheWind]

:pray: .